The Chronicles of Orange Monkey
It is my job to exist as a mixture of cool and orange!
By: Orange Monkey

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Saturday, 27-Nov-2004 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Look At Me, Pinky - You'll See What I Can Be

 
 
 
I continued on trying out new bodies (remember - I went away with Al, my alien friend. On his planet, they can change themselves into anything, anyone.), trying to be the perfect something for my dear Pinky.

I tried out Megatron, but Al didn't think Pinky would like playing with all those parts. So next I tried the thug in #2. I thought that way Pinky would never forget who's in charge. But Al said it's imperative to let girls think they're the ones in charge. At all times! So next I tried being a big Piglet--so that we'd both be pink. Al said I was way too big and would crush my darling Pinky.

Just you wait, Pinky, you'll see what Al made me. He made me just perfect. I hope that you'll love me no matter what...because I definitely love you, Sweet Pea!


Wednesday, 17-Nov-2004 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Please Don't Be Mad, Pinky!

 
 
 
Oh, dear, Pinky's mad at me. She thinks that I'm not ready to get married, that she has been doing all the work, that I'm not monkey enough for her...I suggested Oct. 31 as the BIG DAY, but she didn't respond. I assumed she didn't love me, that there was something wrong with me. So I went away with Al, my alien friend. On his planet, they can change themselves into anything, anyone. I thought I would become something better for Dear, Sweet Pinky.

At first I thought I would be a bowl of grapes...so that Pinky could eat me. But Al didn't like that idea. So then I thought I'd be a box of Ding Dongs...because all girls love Ding Dongs. But Al thought that was tacky. So then I decided I'd be a cute little orange bear...so that Pinky would hug me all night long. But Al didn't think that bears and monkeys would mix company.

Just you wait, Pinky, you'll see what Al made me. He made me just perfect. I hope that you'll love me no matter what...because I definitely love you, Sugar Pie!


Sunday, 31-Oct-2004 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Happy Halloween!!

 
Me, explaining Halloween to the Alien: It's gonna be great, Al. We get to go to all the houses in the neighborhood and yell, "Trick or treat!" We'll get lots of candy...and lots of compliments on how great we look. I tell ya, Al, it's gonna be great! Halloween is a real ego booster. You're gonna love it!

Al: What's the trick part?

Me: Not everyone gives out candy. Some people don't turn their porch lights on. Others tell you they ran out of candy. For all of those party-poopers, you get to play a trick on them. And this year, it's going to be the best trick of all.

Al: Why's that?

Me: Because those fools are the ones that you get to take home with you to your planet. You get research subjects...we get the neighborhood cleaned up!



Friday, 22-Oct-2004 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Just a Fool in Love...

 
Pinky, I'm so glad to hear from you. You're as beautiful as ever! I found these flowers just for you...they'll make a perfect bouquet on our wedding day.

And to all you guys that told me to pull up my socks...# 1 I don't wear socks and # 2 sometimes you have to show a woman exactly how much she means to you.


Tuesday, 19-Oct-2004 00:00 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Wasting away...

I'm dying without you, Pinky.


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